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zechickennoodle
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Random.. Lyrics & My Life Things
The fish swam out of the ocean
And grew legs and they started walking
And the apes climbed down from the trees
And grew tall and they started talking

And the stars fell out of the sky
And my tears rolled into the ocean
Now I'm looking for a reason why
You even set my world into motion

'Cause if you're not really here
Then the stars don't even matter
Now I'm filled to the top with fear
But it's all just a bunch of matter
'Cause if you're not really here
Then I don't wanna be either
 I wanna be next to you
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold

I looked up into the grey sky
And see a thousand eyes staring back
And all around these golden beacons
I see nothing but black

I feel a way of something beyond them
I don't see what I can feel
If vision is the only validation
Then most of my life isn't real

'Cause if you're not really here
Then the stars don't even matter
Now I'm filled to the top with fear
But it's all just a bunch of matter
'Cause if you're not really here
Then I don't wanna be either
I wanna be next to you
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold



•[-♪-Sam Sparro - Black & Gold-♪-]•



Right so anyway, after those lyrics, I need to spout some shit.. shit that's pissing me right off..

How is it that lately, I'm finding myself falling back in love with someone I used to go out with, yet, we ended on bad terms, didn't talk for months on end, maybe even years, but still, physically, and whole-heartedly.. like.. love them? Maybe it's not love love, or maybe it is? I don't actually know, all that I know is that I'm going numb thinking about it.

I mean, when I talk to this person, I smile alot, I get those butterflies again, I forget alot of the bad shit that's happening in my life right now.. and my heart, it beats heavily?

I love talking to this person, and no, no names are going into this.. just incase.. but seriously.. can you really still love someone after so long? I mean really love them? I begin to wonder if you're just meant to be with one person, or if that's a bunch of bollocks..

I was thinking my life needs a sudden turn around, so I don't know whether to say something to them, or just let it pass and hope that it will go away and leave without hurting me or them in the process? I care for this person, so much, maybe a bit too much, but I'm scared to say anything, or to tell them, because personally I think it will be a waste of time and effort and will only make me crack up more than I already am.

Anyway, enough, I'm ill.. I don't really need the stress of this on my head right now.. I can deal without it until I'm feeling better!

Enjoy reading the rants kiddies! Smiley xxxxx
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#
Just Because.. Just Like A Dream Rocks My Socks.. & So Do The Cure!
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it and I promise you
I promise that I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had to make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?"

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream, you're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone
Alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven



•[-♪-The Cure - Just Like Heaven-♪-]•
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#
Under My Umbrella..
Am I weird when I say that I love to go out for a walk in the rain?

I find it somewhat stimulating, it somehow has the magical powers to make me forget the bad things that have been on my mind as of late and forget them for a while.. even though I get wet and cold.

I love how the rain feels when it hits my face and rolls down my cheeks, like tears, only without the emotional breakdown they give.

Like tonight, I'm contemplating going for a walk in the rain, I've had a real shit day, many people are too busy to talk, have no one I want to call to say hello to.. well there is, but I'm giving him space.. and giving her space too, but you know, when you need to release some pent up aggression, why do you never know who to talk to or call for a rant?

I find walking helps me.. walking in the rain that is. It's great, although I do get some really random looks from people in cars that pass me by. Maybe that's because I don't have an umbrella, or a hat on? Fuck knows, all I know is, when people say rain is a bad thing, I don't understand it.. maybe it's just me who finds it soothing and calming, but either way, rain is a godsend to me personally.

Anyway, today has been shite.. what's new eh? At least the fuckwits have left me alone since Friday, woohoo! Must have a bag of white to snort, or someone else to abuse.. either way, I'm loving the peace and quiet.. to a point anyway.

Smiley End of boring entry..



•[-♪-James Blunt - Tears & Rain-♪-]•
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#
Deluded Fuckwits!
Why is it, that when people simply cannot deal with the fact they're fuckers, they get shitty with everyone else?

I mean seriously, what's the point?

You did wrong, you need to admit that fact, then maybe people wouldn't think you were a complete and utter nutjob.

Maybe you should realise that, yes, you made a mistake, and maybe, just maybe, you could be the bigger person, and admit that you keep fucking around with peoples lives and heads, just for kicks and a laugh?

I think it's pathetic really, toying with people's emotions, it can fuck you up, seriously.. and damage whatever self pride they have inside themselves. To the bluntest point where they think life's just not worth living anymore.

Basically, me being me, I can be a bit too honest for my own good, and I've been told it hurts, but you know, I won't ever change that, I've been shit on far too many times to let it bother me anymore, and don't give two fucks about who I hurt with my honesty, because, when I speak the truth.. that's what it is, brutal and honest truth.

Maybe one day, but maybe not, life will become a bit simpler, and the people playing mind games and turning tricks will grow the fuck up and get lives? But that's me, hoping for the inevitable I guess.

Make love not war people, haha, instead of being at eachothers throats all the fucking time!

Tell the people, who you love, you love them, don't hide the fact, that's just being plain stupid.. they need to know, because, they're not going to be around forever, or be there when your life passes by whilst you sit and wait to decide what you want. It's about here and now, not "after" or "later on" or "I need time to think things through" because, what's to think about? You either like the person, or you don't.. simple. If you don't like them, tell them, instead of lulling them into the false state of mind.. that tells them that you like them.


I just re-read that back, and it sounds a bit crumby, but it's staying, because, well.. it just fucking well is! Smiley
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#
Sudden Urge..
Sudden urge to waffle on about shite again..

Waffle on about how I hate someone yet love them, all at the same time.
The way they make me feel all giddy and nervous at the same time.
The way I want to tell them how I feel, yet I'm scared of getting hurt in that process again.

Fact is, I'm shit scared of it, telling someone how you feel, maybe it's the thought of rejection, or the fact that they more than likely don't feel the same anymore.. seeing as I've been there with this person before.

This person I loved dearly.. but we betrayed eachother, both in different ways, both hurting eachother deeply, but we both still know there is something there.

You know, when you think about someone out of the blue, then the next minute, they contact you, and you get those butterflies in your stomach and smile so much your face hurts, it's like that.. time and time again.

We talk alot, then get to the stage where we'll be flirting, then it'll turn a bit too serious, then we'll argue.. then fall out, then not talk to eachother again for weeks on end, then, we'll start over the painful process again.

It's like that all the time.. no matter how long down the line we never speak for.. I reckon it sucks, because I still have feelings for him, and he must have some sort of feeling for me.. else why would he bother contacting me, right?

Anyway, it's starting to hurt.. makes me want to cry.. makes me want to get away from this place again.. to be somewhere a million miles away and forget everyone and everything. Maybe I will.. then again, I possibly won't, and I'll probably dwell on it.. and cry some more, get angry, get pissed off with people, regret it.. that's the more likely side to the story me thinks!

He'll never know how I feel, I won't be the one to tell him, my sister reckons I need him back in my life, says we we're good together, and that I was a happier person with him, I do too, but he did me a big wrong.. and I can't erase it from my memory.. it's a bit weird and a bit wrong.. what he did I mean, not the circumstance.. and I also did him a big wrong.. so who knows, I don't ever see there being anything between us again.. but one can always hope.. Love hurts for it to work right?

I think I love him, I'm going to be honest with myself.. and the few people who read this.. this probably won't make sense to you.. it's random and just what my fingers are typing, so if it doesn't then I'm sorry.. just rambling, waffling and letting my thoughts out.

And.. last but not least, my mood, today, is that off a fucking thunderstorm.. unpredictable, fierce and angry to fuck! Woke up in a stink, still in one.. might ease off though.. I have work tomorrow, I find that makes me let steam off.. at the poor customers I have to deal with, haha!

Anyway, I've had enough now.. I've possibly confused the fuck out of you lot.. and for that I'm truly sorry, but what do you expect when my mind thinks one thing and my fingers type another?!


Love you all! Keep coming back for my rambling! Smiley xxxxx



•[-♪-Lenny Kravitz - I'll Be Waiting-♪-]•
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